Escaping from the pain

I've become really apathetic recently. I feel like there's this empty hole inside of me, that brings me immeasurable pain. I try to hide from that void, by escaping all my emotions. I just walk around and do the things I have to do to keep walking around. Like a zombie.

I'm haven't truly been happy since she left me. I might smile, I might laugh, but I have this nagging sensation in the back of my head that keeps me from being truly happy. It's my pain, demanding to be felt.

When I think about it, all the times I've been truly happy in the last five years or so, are the times I've been together with someone and with her, I was happiest I've ever been.

I'm afraid I'll never be truly happy again. That I'll never again meet someone who can make me as happy as she did. That I'll never get over the pain she left me with. I'll just thrift through my life, with everything feeling just kind of...meh. That scares me more than anything, being all alone, hiding from my feelings.

Everything hurts

This pain is inside of me

It will never leave

Just leave me to my misery